Do you guys remember going to Skateland or the bowling alley as an adolescent and ordering a suicide? Real OGs already know that's a soda with a splash from every available fountain nozzle. I felt like such a badass the first time I encountered it, then ordered it, then taught someone else about it. We were thinking outside the box of available drinks and customizing a witch's brew of caffeinated, carbonated go-juice. Then...
I was at some crappy burrito spot in the Harbor Place and encountered a machine with one nozzle, and a touch screen display featuring 50 or so different flavors. They took the suicide to the next level. These kids don't know how good they have it, being able to mix Mr. Pibb with Grape Soda, Sprite, Mellow Yellow, Surge (I wish - RIP Surge), Tab, and Cherry Ginger Ale.
Or then you've got those friends who spray two different types of cologne on along with their Axe Body spray, after washing with Old Spice. Please go stand in another room, or take yourself outside for a few hours and air out. These aromas were designed by professionals to smell a certain way, and mixing them together is akin to pouring orange juice on your cereal. Yes, they're good by themselves, but no, they shouldn't be allowed to play together in that way. People have taken it upon themselves to bastardize what could be a pleasant olfactory experience for the rest of us, instead confusing and offending those unfortunate souls in their wake with a startling bouquet of off-brand nose-fuckery.
I did know a guy many years ago who used to buy all white Air Force Ones, gussy them up with markers, then sell them at like a $75 markup on MySpace. He actually did alright for himself, and he had a knack for making some pretty cool and unique designs.
Subway started it by letting us choose our toppings, then the Chipotles and Five Guys and Royal Farms touch screens followed suit.
And you don't even have to watch what's airing on tv anymore. Tivo came along, before DVR became a thing, before Netflix and Hulu changed the game, and you can get your news on the internet, with a fully customizable Partisan tuning filter :)
Your perception of the world is customized by the things that you consume daily, and this time I'm not talking about comestibles and libation, I'm talking about what you follow on Instagram, what music you choose, what self-talk you subscribe to, the line of work you pursue (or don't), the people with whom you surround yourself, the books you read (or don't), the doctors you see, the medicine you take that you may or may not need, ugh, now I'm on a rant.
We live in a fast-paced, technocentric, back-up camera reliant, online dating world with new verbs like "google" and "shazam" and "uber it," with an ever-expanding emotional disconnect to the people around us, and an incessant entitlement to instant gratification, so why shouldn't we be able to customize a bag of Oreos that we send to our "loved ones" via Amazon Prime free shipping so that they can know how much we care without having to actually go visit.
End rant.
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